maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
false alarm. still invincible.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
