Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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