Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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