Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
