discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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