So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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