EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
