are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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