I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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