I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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