Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
