Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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