Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
