hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think your dad took our porno
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize