Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
