woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
