sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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