so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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