so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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