I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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