Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
