dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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