sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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