Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
