There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
