We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
