Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize