They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize