you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize