My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
