does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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