let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
