And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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