just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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