A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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