Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize