I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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