found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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