i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How many fucks given?
0.12846
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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