I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
