A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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