Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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