It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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