yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
