True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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