So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
