So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
