Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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