well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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