Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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