I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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