one two three fourrrrnication!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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