Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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