and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
