Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
worst night to have a conscience
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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