toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
