where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wanna go halves on a baby?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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