Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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