If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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