Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
