he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize