I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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