So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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