her vagine was all disorganized.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
