I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
