hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
