At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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