My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
