i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
