I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
