I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
