Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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