I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
