Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
