Just took my morning after pill in the library
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
