Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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