y did u give ur computer a hand job?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
